She'd been going over and over it in her head. It was perplexing to say the least, disturbing to be utterly honest. Hank, well not Hank but a pseudo version of Hank had tried to kill her. The man she'd been in love with tried to end her life, beyond that he was Hell bent on destroying, well, everything.
But it wasn't Hank, hadn't been him. Could she just completely set those feelings aside. Intellectually she knew she had no real reason to be angry or afraid of him, but her intellect was battling with her guy and they were pretty well tied.
Holly, of all people the hot headed sister had encouraged her to speak with Hank. Dawn would never have guessed the voice of cool reason would come from either Hawk, but perhaps there was still so much more to learn about the depths of their powers and just how much insight they could offer.
Dawns wanderings had brought her to a side of town she had half known, half dreaded she would end up. Hawks and Doves always gravitated to each other, and now she was doing the same. With a deep steeling breath Dawn knocked on the door, unsure just what awaited her on the other side but this limbo was worse than anything she had see or could hear. She had to know.
"Did you forget your keys?" she hears Hank's gruff voice on the other side of the door. "It's open anyway..."
Hank doesn't like locking his front door. If someone tried to break in, he'd be happy for the opportunity to prove how well he could defend his home, even if it was just a cheap apartment until he got back on his feet.
Ok no laugh..he looks like she just killed his dog. Oh god! Abort abort!
"Oh, this was a bad idea. A mistake. I shouldn't have...I'm sorry I should have called first but I didn't think and then I was here and... I should go."
"No, no," Hank insists. "It's okay. Come in. Sit down. Can I get you something?" He turns towards the kitchen, forgetting about the chair he just stood up from... and immediately tripping over it, falling to the ground in a less-than-graceful heap.
Still standing there with her thumb hooked toward the door indicating she should leave, Dawn stopped. Hank seemed so anxious to have her stay that she couldn't walk away. Then the trip and fall, she was at his side in a moment, gently, gingerly using her arm to help him up.
Now, at least over this she could laugh, not at him but at the absurdity of it all. "No, I'm fine, but I think you may want to sit down."
The laughter helped, it made things easier, broke the tension.
"It's really good to see you too, Hank." She looked up, looking for any hint of the other him. But all she saw in those warm eyes was pain and...fear? What did he have to be scared of?
And when Hawk is afraid, he only knows one response. The smile gives way to an annoyed snarl
"Dammit," he finally swears. "This is fucked up, you know? The last thing I remember is unmasking Monarch and seeing my face there -- but now it turns out that wasn't me. Someone pretending to be me tries to kill you and remake the universe, and I want to give him HELL for that... but that wasn't me, and I don't remember doing it. I know you need space, but dammit... it's like just last week, we were together. Only just last week was years ago now."
He's not mad at her. He'll give her whatever space she needs. But he wanted to get that off his chest first.
"Hey..hey, breathe." Her hands gently cradled his face shushing him as that temper of his rose in a wave she could feel.
"It wasn't you, and deep down I think I knew it couldn't be. But yeah, it was scary and he was a bastard whoever he was. It's going to take time for everyone to come to terms with this, especially you. But you are strong enough to get past this, I know you are, I've seen that strength for years."
Not only did she have a naturally calming effect, bringing order to the chaos of his rage, she knew him. Dawn truly knew Hank, and hold hin him now solidified her certainty that he could never have done the things his impostor did.
His anger cools instantly at her touch. She's always been able to calm him down -- even better than Don was.
"I can live with everyone else thinking I'm a psychopath. I know better," he admits. It's not totally true -- he's pissed that his name was used to cause some incredibly evil acts. But he can live with it if he has to. He's fine if everyone else in the world hates his guts. Everyone... except her.
He looks at her. "But... where does that leave us?"
Right to the point, he always was direct. Dawn eased him with a gentle push, setting him down in the chair. Sher herself perched on the arm, her fingertips still stroking down his cheek a moment longer.
"The truth is that I don't know Hank. I'm not sure any other answer I could give you wouldn't be a lie." Truth was not always pretty, but it was truth.
"Well, I've returned to the world after being absent for 6-odd years, to discover that my brother is alive again, which is awesome -- but everyone else seems to think I turned into some evil psychopath who tried to destroy the universe and kill you. I found out our child was actually Hawkman and Hawkgirl's child, and he's now Dr. Fate, somewhere out there in the mystic joojoo realms. I have no memory of anything from the last 6 years, and last I remember, I was with you." He lets out a long sigh, almost done with his rant. "I loved you then... and I love you now. For me... nothing's happened that should have changed that."
"It's been a long six years, a lot has happened. Granted it wasn't you, but still there will be people who need time to understand."
Her hand took one of his own, fingers weaving between his and holding tightly. "I.. I need time too. And it's not because of you. There is just so much, Don's back, Holly's with me. We've been helping the Titans. I'm dealing with a lot of the same things you are from a different perspective. I've never stopped loving you Hank, but I think taking things slow is the best way to get back to where we were, or better then we were."
Hopefully he would understand, she just couldn't jump back into things blindly. He shouldn't either.
"Not really a step back, more of a..holding pattern." Another softly spoken bit of humor to lighten his dark mood.
"You can't tell me you don't have any questions or issues with all that's happened, if we just jumped right into things there is bound to be some problems. If we take our time and ease into it I think it will work better for both of us."
Come on, she was practically the personification of mediation of course she would feel this way.
"All that's happened is I woke up and found out a bunch of stuff happened," he retorts, annoyed, but then the expression fades. "Look, I'm sorry. You have to understand how much this is to take in. I'd never hurt you... and if you need space, you've got it. It's just..." He drops off, frustrated by a lack of words to explain how he feels.
"And I had a child, and had the life I'd lived taken out of me. Want to admit it or not we've both been through things that are a shock to anyone." It was important she make that clear, they both had been taken out of rightful time and displaced into a life that was never meant to be, or so it had seemed.
"So here and now...I am still trying to figure all this out. It means I am trying to figure myself out, what I want. But I know how I feel about you and I can't walk away from that. I know you'd never hurt me, but I've been hurt. We both have to work through that, and we can if we work together. No matter what," And her she used her free hand to gently lift his jaw so his gaze met her own. "I trust you, and nothing not partnership, friendship or love can exist without that."
"Holly would have beaten you senseless if you hadn't asked, and me if I didn't accept." She laughed softly and squeezed the hand she held before letting it go.
"To tell the truth I'd be a little offended if you didn't ask me out."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 05:13 am (UTC)But it wasn't Hank, hadn't been him. Could she just completely set those feelings aside. Intellectually she knew she had no real reason to be angry or afraid of him, but her intellect was battling with her guy and they were pretty well tied.
Holly, of all people the hot headed sister had encouraged her to speak with Hank. Dawn would never have guessed the voice of cool reason would come from either Hawk, but perhaps there was still so much more to learn about the depths of their powers and just how much insight they could offer.
Dawns wanderings had brought her to a side of town she had half known, half dreaded she would end up. Hawks and Doves always gravitated to each other, and now she was doing the same. With a deep steeling breath Dawn knocked on the door, unsure just what awaited her on the other side but this limbo was worse than anything she had see or could hear. She had to know.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 05:19 am (UTC)Hank doesn't like locking his front door. If someone tried to break in, he'd be happy for the opportunity to prove how well he could defend his home, even if it was just a cheap apartment until he got back on his feet.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 05:43 am (UTC)"No, I..uh..haven't had keys to your place in a while." Joke, please laugh..or something.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 05:50 am (UTC)...no, no laugh.
"...uh.... come in," he says nervously, getting to his feet and gesturing to a chair.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 05:56 am (UTC)"Oh, this was a bad idea. A mistake. I shouldn't have...I'm sorry I should have called first but I didn't think and then I was here and... I should go."
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:11 am (UTC)Now, at least over this she could laugh, not at him but at the absurdity of it all. "No, I'm fine, but I think you may want to sit down."
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:13 am (UTC)He lets her help him up, but he focuses instead on her face.
"It's good to see you," he admits.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:17 am (UTC)"It's really good to see you too, Hank." She looked up, looking for any hint of the other him. But all she saw in those warm eyes was pain and...fear? What did he have to be scared of?
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:22 am (UTC)"Dammit," he finally swears. "This is fucked up, you know? The last thing I remember is unmasking Monarch and seeing my face there -- but now it turns out that wasn't me. Someone pretending to be me tries to kill you and remake the universe, and I want to give him HELL for that... but that wasn't me, and I don't remember doing it. I know you need space, but dammit... it's like just last week, we were together. Only just last week was years ago now."
He's not mad at her. He'll give her whatever space she needs. But he wanted to get that off his chest first.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:30 am (UTC)"It wasn't you, and deep down I think I knew it couldn't be. But yeah, it was scary and he was a bastard whoever he was. It's going to take time for everyone to come to terms with this, especially you. But you are strong enough to get past this, I know you are, I've seen that strength for years."
Not only did she have a naturally calming effect, bringing order to the chaos of his rage, she knew him. Dawn truly knew Hank, and hold hin him now solidified her certainty that he could never have done the things his impostor did.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:33 am (UTC)"I can live with everyone else thinking I'm a psychopath. I know better," he admits. It's not totally true -- he's pissed that his name was used to cause some incredibly evil acts. But he can live with it if he has to. He's fine if everyone else in the world hates his guts. Everyone... except her.
He looks at her. "But... where does that leave us?"
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:42 am (UTC)"The truth is that I don't know Hank. I'm not sure any other answer I could give you wouldn't be a lie." Truth was not always pretty, but it was truth.
"But I'm willing to talk if you are."
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:47 am (UTC)"I don't know what there is to talk about," he shrugs gruffly.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:51 am (UTC)There was a lot to talk about, the problem might actually be where to start.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 07:04 am (UTC)Her hand took one of his own, fingers weaving between his and holding tightly. "I.. I need time too. And it's not because of you. There is just so much, Don's back, Holly's with me. We've been helping the Titans. I'm dealing with a lot of the same things you are from a different perspective. I've never stopped loving you Hank, but I think taking things slow is the best way to get back to where we were, or better then we were."
Hopefully he would understand, she just couldn't jump back into things blindly. He shouldn't either.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 07:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 04:49 pm (UTC)"You can't tell me you don't have any questions or issues with all that's happened, if we just jumped right into things there is bound to be some problems. If we take our time and ease into it I think it will work better for both of us."
Come on, she was practically the personification of mediation of course she would feel this way.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 03:52 am (UTC)"So here and now...I am still trying to figure all this out. It means I am trying to figure myself out, what I want. But I know how I feel about you and I can't walk away from that. I know you'd never hurt me, but I've been hurt. We both have to work through that, and we can if we work together. No matter what," And her she used her free hand to gently lift his jaw so his gaze met her own. "I trust you, and nothing not partnership, friendship or love can exist without that."
no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 04:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 04:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 04:25 am (UTC)"Well... if we're going to go back to a holding pattern... can I take you out sometime?"
no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 04:29 am (UTC)"To tell the truth I'd be a little offended if you didn't ask me out."